You think you have or want control over your life and that is the very reason it appears that you are being controlled by something outside of you i.e circumstances, people,situations anything. In simple words what is happening is
You Want Control = You are Being Controlled.
So what happens when you don't think about controlling because ultimately it is just a thought in the mind. It is not reflected back, nothing is controlling you then. Look at the want of control whenever it arises in your thoughts, it has subtle ways of arising so you have to be aware,present. As soon as you realize and watch it, witness it; it looses its hold, some of its control. The controller becomes more of a watcher, it is like loosing at one side of your personal identity as the controller and gaining at the conscious level, more like a transfer of power for lack of appropriate words. This is a process which goes on as you become rooted more in awareness. Some examples where we want more control include controlling my health, finances, relationships, family, so on and so forth. However being present here in the physical world with a physical body we would come across situations where we would need to do something about all of these factors above. It is not being said or implied that you should not be taking care of all of these things. But the pitfall is as soon we start taking care of these things, we become so involved with wanting results and fearing not getting results, that it ends up being a control scenario. In any given situation, if we are aware, we eventually realize that this (whatever I am thinking) is either coming from wanting something or fearing something, which in both cases is leading to wanting control. Even such a simple thing as teaching your kids becomes a want ( for him to score better) and fear ( what if he flunks ,doesn't do good) scenario. Another example would be should I be taking up this opportunity, where the want could be growth and money that it brings and fear could be what if I fail. In many cases both want and fear exist hand in hand.
This has been the norm all our lives and most of the time all it brings is suffering , so maybe it is time to look at all of this from a different perspective. The beginning could be just being aware of the want and fear scenario that exist in any given situation. So the next question then is" What do we do about it?". There was a reference to Sedona Method some time back in one of my earlier posts. So just to take that a step further, whenever you become aware of such a scenario the first step could be asking yourself this question once or many times:
Could I accept the want that I have? or Could I accept the fear that I have?
As soon as you do that, you are aware and accepting of the fact that there is something here where I think I am in a control position or I want to be in a control position (which we never really are). What this could potentially do is bring in a different perspective, help you release tension (physical, mental, emotional) about the whole situation and bring some insights.
And of course the next question to ask after asking above questions would be:
Could I let go of the want? or Could I let go of the fear?
The answers are simple yes or no.
During my management study days we were always taught that planning and control which go hand in hand are two great pillars of management. So I would end the post with a recent example a friend shared from his project management and planning training, which, he was a part of. Right at the beginning of this corporate training the trainer said " There is one time in our lives where God or Divine or Consciousness would have a hearty laugh on us, which is, whenever we say or think "I HAVE A PLAN". "
And I leave you with that, with your own interpretations and insights of this statement.
Jagjeet Singh Ahluwalia